Most 2015 Thing Ever: People Won't Stop Naming Their Kids After Instagram Filters

I’m not gonna do… what everybody thinks I’m gonna do… and freak out, man.

In fact, I don’t hate this. Admittedly, the thought, “People are naming their fucking kin after photo tones in the most narcissistic app since a reflecting pond,” is a jarring one. But when you actually look past that idea, the names don’t stink. Lux is pretty ridiculous, but after that I can fuck with all those names. Ludwig is unique but not made up, if you catch my drift, and means your kid will probably become a famous musician. Juno, Amaro, Valencia, Willow, Reyes… those are all pretty names and you can’t really debate that. Of course if your baby is blonde then you can’t use any of them, but they’re still pretty names.

So I don’t hate the Instagram baby surge. As long as we stay clear of X-Pro II’s, Lo-Fi’s, and Slumber’s then we’re good. Just make up a better story for how you came about that name for your child. Most people are named after dead relatives and shit, you don’t want your daughter to be running around school saying that she’s named Valencia because it was the shade that hid mommy’s blemishes just enough to make daddy want to drop a nut in her.